I need to immature

Sounds crazy, I know, but just hear me out.

Spring Quarter. A time to study, of course, but it's the only quarter during the school year that students get to enjoy the beautiful (or seemingly beautiful, if you have allergies like me) weather mixed with longer days and mr. gorgeous sun (i.e. tanning!) Students are either burnt out and/or ready for summer, which may be the prime season for young adult behavior. You know, staying out extra late, partying ridiculously with your friends, enjoying life with few responsibilities.

The past two quarters (which have seemed like eons to me) I have killed my mental state by trying to be very career-oriented and responsible. I have worked hard to fill my resume with seemingly meaningful contributions. If you were my interviewer and asked me "tell me about yourself and what you do on campus," I would proudly reply "I am an active participant and co-historian in the UCD Hawaii club, a volunteer for the ASUCD Entertainment Council, and volunteer as an ESL tutor twice a week. I hope to continue these activities next year, including a position as student advisor at the Internship and Career Center." That's a mouthful.

All the work [from the above stated] has come at a price. I was incredibly busy with activities, yet never had time for school. I made time for volunteering at movies, or attending practices, but the only friend I ever saw on a regular basis was my roommate. I would stay in on the weekends and wake up early because I knew I had obligations early Saturday morning; I was very responsible.

Well, fuck responsibility.

As I sit and think about my accomplishments, if I can even call them that, I am flabbergasted at myself. I have worked so hard at being a responsible and mature adult that I forgot what it meant to be young. They say "stop and smell the roses." I thought I had done that, but obviously not. I don't remember what it means to "go out." and see a movie, friends, or whatever. My idea of going out is eating out.I don't remember what it means to "go partying." My last time partying was sometime in February?

My roommate says that life is balancing act. I always interpreted that as "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." No, it's all about the marginal changes (i'm temporarily loving economics). I need to relax, because work is for people with jobs. I'll never remember class time, but I'll remember the time I wasted with friends (if I have any friends left... to my friends back home/in the bay... if you still consider me a friend... I'm so sorry for being MIA lately...). I need to stay out late, go out on Tuesday when I have a paper due Wednesday, spend money I don't have, and drink! The work never ends but college does. What a fucking hypocrite I am! This isn't the first time I've quoted Tom Petty, but I have obviously not listened to this.

::sigh:: I just don't want to wake up one day and think, "Fuck. I just took my college years for granted."

As shitty as some things may seem right now, I guess everything happens for a reason. I need to learn how to have fun, let go of some of my insecurities, and truly balance life.

My rendition of KC Cody's last article

This last Tuesday, KC Cody wrote some simple, lewd, yet astounding words--they were his current thoughts. I bring to you, mine:

My latest thing is insecurity. These emotions I've been feeling lately (envy, anger, loneliness) are my current insecurities

My knees are killing me (which worries me) and I don't have access to my beloved King Lounge.

My current is pet peeve are people who go to UCD and hate it because it is "sooo lame" but they just need to fucking open their eyes. KC Cody provides a wonderful article on my feelings right here. Oh, and I guess KC Cody is my new favorite editorial to read

Going Home Is A Dangerous Thing

The train ride to the bay commenced my spring break, and I had an Emersonian-like epiphany that I would live off my notebook and pictures, devoid of internet access and what not. That lasted for about 2 hours. Oh well. Here's a glimpse into my spring break:

[I hate to admit it, but I needed to get away from Davis. It just reminded me of how burnt out I was...]

[My roommate has fond memories of LA and everything that it means to her, and I finally realize that her LA is my Silicon Valley. A little weird yes, but I love this view from the train--a myriad of companies mixed with everyday life]

[::giggle:: It's a college thing.]

[Exploring the streets of an unfamiliar city]

[SUSHI! Duh, someone has to feed me!!]

[On the way to Morro Bay]

[Gorgeous shot of Morro Rock]

Going back is so difficult. I'm often hesitant to go back because I need to prepare myself mentally and physically. Breaks/weekends back are only good because they are so jam-packed with good things. Only the good things. It's so good that one might forget how it really used to be, and then wonder, as they are back to their respective school, "Why am I here?" ::sigh:: iunno...

Alas, I'm back, ready to bend this bitch over.