I need to immature

Sounds crazy, I know, but just hear me out.

Spring Quarter. A time to study, of course, but it's the only quarter during the school year that students get to enjoy the beautiful (or seemingly beautiful, if you have allergies like me) weather mixed with longer days and mr. gorgeous sun (i.e. tanning!) Students are either burnt out and/or ready for summer, which may be the prime season for young adult behavior. You know, staying out extra late, partying ridiculously with your friends, enjoying life with few responsibilities.

The past two quarters (which have seemed like eons to me) I have killed my mental state by trying to be very career-oriented and responsible. I have worked hard to fill my resume with seemingly meaningful contributions. If you were my interviewer and asked me "tell me about yourself and what you do on campus," I would proudly reply "I am an active participant and co-historian in the UCD Hawaii club, a volunteer for the ASUCD Entertainment Council, and volunteer as an ESL tutor twice a week. I hope to continue these activities next year, including a position as student advisor at the Internship and Career Center." That's a mouthful.

All the work [from the above stated] has come at a price. I was incredibly busy with activities, yet never had time for school. I made time for volunteering at movies, or attending practices, but the only friend I ever saw on a regular basis was my roommate. I would stay in on the weekends and wake up early because I knew I had obligations early Saturday morning; I was very responsible.

Well, fuck responsibility.

As I sit and think about my accomplishments, if I can even call them that, I am flabbergasted at myself. I have worked so hard at being a responsible and mature adult that I forgot what it meant to be young. They say "stop and smell the roses." I thought I had done that, but obviously not. I don't remember what it means to "go out." and see a movie, friends, or whatever. My idea of going out is eating out.I don't remember what it means to "go partying." My last time partying was sometime in February?

My roommate says that life is balancing act. I always interpreted that as "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." No, it's all about the marginal changes (i'm temporarily loving economics). I need to relax, because work is for people with jobs. I'll never remember class time, but I'll remember the time I wasted with friends (if I have any friends left... to my friends back home/in the bay... if you still consider me a friend... I'm so sorry for being MIA lately...). I need to stay out late, go out on Tuesday when I have a paper due Wednesday, spend money I don't have, and drink! The work never ends but college does. What a fucking hypocrite I am! This isn't the first time I've quoted Tom Petty, but I have obviously not listened to this.

::sigh:: I just don't want to wake up one day and think, "Fuck. I just took my college years for granted."

As shitty as some things may seem right now, I guess everything happens for a reason. I need to learn how to have fun, let go of some of my insecurities, and truly balance life.